In recent years, “therapy speak” has moved beyond counselling sessions and into lecture halls, lab discussions, and everyday conversations across social media. This linguistic shift isn’t just a passing trend, but part of a broader cultural movement towards emotional transparency. The post-pandemic rise in mental health awareness is fueled by an increase in online learning communities and the online presence of emotionally resonant content. And of course, its ability to go viral. A Media in Canada study highlighted 3 in 5 people aged 18-34 felt they increased their regular use of social media during the pandemic.1 That’s millions more moments where language about care, boundaries, and self-awareness could take root and grow.
For graduate students, this trend is especially relevant. Immersed in an intellectually demanding environment and under constant pressure to perform, it’s common for topics like stress and burnout to be at the forefront of many grad students’ minds and conversations. The growing use of therapy-related language in everyday life can foster compassionate self-reflection and help reduce the stigma around seeking support. At the same time, the original meaning of these terms can sometimes become blurred or misused, which can lead to misunderstandings, over-pathologizing normal challenges, and missing opportunities for genuine growth.
A recent study by The Guardian showed that more than half of the top 100 TikToks with the hashtag “#mentalhealthtips” include misinformation.2 Interpersonal challenges can feel amplified when labels like “toxic” and “gaslighting” are applied, making the situation feel more severe, and the consequences potentially worse. Being too quick to apply labels can flatten nuance and block progress toward understanding what’s happening. Just as quickly as therapy language can validate one person’s experience, it can just as easily have the opposite effect on another.
What Does “Therapy Language” Look Like on Social Media?
- “My toxic trait is turning trauma into personality.”
- “Setting boundaries is my love language.”
- “Me gaslighting myself into thinking I’m fine.”
- “Not me getting triggered by a TikTok trend.”
- “Every green flag comes with hidden red flags.”
Do these sayings sound familiar? Have you heard something similar amongst your peers in person or online, and maybe didn't quite understand what they meant?
Social media and trends have normalized therapy-related language like “trauma,” “boundaries,” and “burnout.” You’ll come across this language throughout TikTok, Instagram, and other platforms, as well as in everyday conversations. This trend has created widespread micro-education and helped normalize mental health vocabulary. According to the Canadian Association of Colleges & Universities Student Services (CACUSS), 66% of students report experiencing overwhelming anxiety, and 46% report being so depressed that it interferes with daily function.3 Considering the reality that many grad students face, it is likely that some would turn to social media to seek help or simply a label to describe how they’re feeling.
Students are increasingly engaging with complex therapeutic ideas on social media, breaking them down into bite-sized, digestible takeaways that fit into their busy academic lives. Seeing mental health talked about openly online helps break the stigma. And for many, it’s the push they need to finally try therapy.
Have you ever found yourself saying something you saw online without knowing what it actually means?
The downside of the widespread use and normalization of therapy language on social media is that the misuse or overuse of these terms without full understanding can water down their meaning. This poses a risk of unintentionally pathologizing everyday struggles, creating greater feelings of isolation and self-doubt. This can quickly make it seem too overwhelming to tackle “right now,” even when what you’re experiencing is a natural response to the demands of grad school.
Do you compare your struggles against what others share online?
This trend has the power to shift inner narratives. Using therapy language encourages reframing self-criticism as self-compassion and shines a more understanding light on self-identities. Becoming familiar with these terms can be really helpful in naming complex thoughts and feelings that students may be experiencing. This practice creates space for grad students to start telling their story through a kinder, more compassionate lens to others, but also to themselves.
For example, the use of therapy language in casual settings allows students to transition from “I’m bad at handling stress” to “I’m learning to set boundaries for my workload.” It makes challenges feel more manageable and gives a sense of control over what can feel overwhelming.
Why Grad Students Are Especially Impacted
Many grad students are navigating major life transitions. This varies from living away from family, shifting identities, financial precarity, and a range of other challenges. This leaves grad students more attuned to discussions of resilience, boundaries, and self-care. It’s no surprise that therapy language has quickly woven itself into the social fabric of grad school life.
Shared language creates quick empathy and connection. When peers can naturally understand the meaning behind burnout, imposter syndrome, self-care, and the importance of boundaries, stigma is reduced and there’s less need for explanation. Learning and embracing this language helps students develop skills that carry beyond school, whether it’s setting and maintaining boundaries, negotiating workloads with peers, or clarifying expectations. The tools gained from these concepts support growth and resilience in any career path, long after graduation.
Anonymous Grad Student Reflections
A client of mine once shared that they felt they were overusing the term “gaslighting.” Although they initially found this validating, over time, they noticed that every challenge began to feel large. These harsh labels given to every challenge started highlighting the opportunity and result of harm in every situation, instead of the growth in it.
This is very common. There is so much value in taking the time to reflect on whether you are using a particular label because it is truly accurate, or because you are feeling overwhelmed. The unintentional exaggeration we lean toward when we are overwhelmed typically makes the situation feel worse and more difficult to escape.
Therapeutic Reflections & Guidance
Reflection: Do you ever feel pressured to use or understand these terms?
Therapy language is such a powerful entry point. The words, phrases, and concepts that have emerged in digital spaces—social media, forums, blogs, podcasts, and teletherapy platforms—is a way to begin engaging with mental health ideas. The meaning behind them depends on both personal context and the original clinical usage of the term, but regardless, they serve as a way to start the conversation.
The simplest way to navigate the challenges therapy language can bring, whether for you or your social circle, is to pause and reflect. Consider where you learned a term, what it truly means, and whether it fits the situation. This can help prevent unintentionally labeling experiences in a harmful way. Checking in with peers about this shared language can also strengthen understanding and continue to reduce the stigma around therapy. By age 40, the Canadian Mental Health Association (CMHA) found that about half of the Canadian population will have or have had a mental illness.4 This goes to show just how important these conversations are. It’s not just about using the terms to reduce stigma, but having the conversations themselves. Respecting boundaries, offering empathy, and listening as much as speaking will help to strengthen your support system even more.
Reflection: Would your support system welcome these conversations?
Consider where you are able to have these conversations. Everyone has their own personal boundaries and comfort level with having vulnerable discussions, and we need to acknowledge our own, as well. Supportive environments can offer a space to open up, which is integral to heal and grow. With that said, there is a difference between empathy and expertise. Both of these are valuable components, but sometimes we need to go beyond emotional support and work with a trained professional to help navigate deeper, more complex concerns. It may feel easier to turn to social media to avoid sharing, but it has limits.
Social platforms make this kind of language more accessible and community-building; however, it does not replace real, human guidance. Using therapy terms does not replace therapy. If you are noticing persistent changes in sleep, appetite, mood, or focus, or if you're withdrawing from relationships or activities you value, or if you're feeling unable to cope, regardless of trying, consider seeking professional support. Seeking help is a sign of being resourceful, not being weak.
Coping Habits for Daily Balance
Grad school can amplify stress cycles. Incorporating small, daily habits in your routine can help anchor your emotional stability. Focus on habits that are consistent, simple, and achievable, even on your busiest days and during exam seasons.
- Practice setting boundaries in your personal and professional life in order to be effective. It’s also important to set boundaries for the language you consume and use. Doomscrolling content surrounding mental health when you are already feeling emotionally overwhelmed can exacerbate that feeling. Be mindful of label fatigue. When everything feels like it's been given a strong label, emotional nuance and meaning get lost.
- Practice self-regulation to return your nervous system to baseline, helping you move from reactivity toward steadiness and choice. Box breathing, scheduling transitions between study and rest, and limiting screen time before bed are all things that help settle your nervous system. Something as simple as tactile and sensory anchors can help to feel grounded again. Holding a textured object, splashing cool water on your face, and naming five things you can see/hear/feel can all be done discreetly in classrooms, libraries, or labs without drawing attention to yourself.
- Practice body scanning to recognize that your body is the first responder to stress. Daily movement helps regulate stress hormones throughout your system. Pairing this movement with breathwork or mindful attention only improves the results. If you aren’t seeing improvement, remember that habits are tools, not a cure-all.
These tools are designed to provide support over time, but it is important to recognize when they are not enough. Reaching out for help is part of resilience.
Now It’s Time To Turn Digital Dialogue Into Real Life Well-Being
The narrative we use to describe our lives becomes the architecture we live inside. Every word is a frame. Every phrase shapes the story. The language we choose not only reflects our reality, but creates it. When we speak with clarity and specificity, we sharpen our self-understanding. We can tell the difference between being “overwhelmed” and being “in despair,” between feeling “anxious” and feeling “unsafe.” That precision matters—because it guides us toward the right resources, conversations, and self-care.
The use of therapy language in day-to-day life will inevitably shape our culture’s future. It is so valuable for grad students to be at the centre of these changes during such a pivotal time in their lives. Experiencing first-hand the fall of therapy stigma provides grad students the unique opportunity of witnessing these cultural changes and effects they have not only on their peers, but on themselves.
But there’s another side to this cultural shift. Therapy language can also become a polished mask, a way of appearing self-aware while quietly avoiding deeper pain. We can learn the right words, present ourselves as having it figured out, and still be struggling in places we haven’t yet dared to name.
What we’re witnessing now is part of a larger societal evolution. More people, including graduate students, are developing a therapeutic inner world that allows them to describe their feelings with nuance and openness. This is progress. It’s a collective move toward making the unseen visible.
Yet the challenge remains: to use that language not only to sound insightful, but to be honest. To ensure it’s a bridge to genuine healing, not just a performance of wellness.
So, as you scroll, post, or speak about your mental health, ask yourself:
What reality is the language I’m choosing to build for me?
Is it helping me see myself more clearly—or helping me hide?
The answer could be the first step toward a truer, more grounded version of yourself.
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About the Author
Ken Fierheller, Registered Psychotherapist at One-Life Counselling & Coaching.
Ken specializes in helping clients who want to improve their relationships, develop higher self-confidence and hone their communication skills. He works with leaders, entrepreneurs and high performers who want to access their greatest potential and live a life with greater meaning, peace and aliveness. Ken comes from the philosophy that if we develop a greater self-awareness, we have the opportunity to choose new possibilities and access untapped potential. He believes true change is rooted in challenging our thinking patterns and belief systems. He invites his clients to dive into a growth mindset and make a personal agreement to change by becoming very intentional in life. Ken has his own private practice as a therapist, coach and trainer in Calgary, Alberta.
References:
1. Summerfield, P. (2020, November 9). Pandemic social boost was bigger among lower-income Canadians. Media in Canada. https://mediaincanada.com/2020/11/09/pandemic-social-boost-was-bigger-among-lower-income-canadians/
2. Hall, R., & Keenan, R. (2025, May 31). More than half of top 100 mental health TikToks contain misinformation, study finds. The Guardian. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2025/may/31/more-than-half-of-top-100-mental-health-tiktoks-contain-misinformation-study-finds?
3. Abdi, A. (2023, November 9). University student stress statistics in Canada. University Magazine. https://www.universitymagazine.ca/university-student-stress-statistics-in-canada/
4. Canadian Mental Health Association (n.d.). Facts on mental health and mental illnesses in Canada. Retrieved August 20, 2025. https://cmha.ca/find-info/mental-health/general-info/fast-facts/